Looking Back On 2019

For me 2019 was supposed to be the year my whole life changed. I set out goals and I was determined to turn everything around. It was the year I was going to get back to having a steady income, the year I learned to control my anxiety and depression and the year I accomplished all the writing projects I have been wanting to finish.

But 2019 looked a lot like 2018 in a sense. I believed I was happy and moving in the right direction. Early in the year my close friends Anxiety and Depression came to have a chat. I could no longer bring myself to go to work. I couldn’t find work. No scratch that, great jobs came knocking on my door but I couldn’t get myself to the opportunity. And I started beating myself up about it and that just made everything worse.

Unlike 2018 though, I managed to bounce back quicker and I believe stronger. I have set myself out new goals that if I work at them everyday I will be able to accomplish. I am feeling determined and ready to take on the year!

Unfortunately I didn’t manage to accomplish any of my goals in 2019 as some were just way over my head and others I didn’t give enough attention to. But the goal I wanted to complete the most was to finish the first draft of a novel. I have had some great Ideas (writers always do, til they go to write them down) But I just wasn’t in the right place to work on them. I have two works in progress right now and I am going to read through them and decide which one to give my attention to. Because I WILL be making some head way this year!

Falling back into old habits has definitely halted my creative progress. I come home from work and either watch tv or play video games until bed. doing that keeps my mind blank and if its blank I don’t think negativity and spiral out of control. But I have already found myself chipping away at the time I spent doing that and managing to work more on my blog or reading more and slowly but surely I will get to where I want to be.

There was one goal that I came really close to achieving and that was my reading goal. In 2018 I read 11 books ( don’t judge I have never been a huge reader) and I made a goal to read 20 in 2019. I managed to read 16 and that’s a huge feat for me! This year I am going to keep the goal the same and I will most likely smash it as I get more engrossed in books now and fly through them!

As much as this year has been a bummer, much like the last couple of years, it has been good. I am at a job that I can see myself at for a long time. The people I work with are all awesome. When I have “dark” days they brighten much quicker and I actually learn more about myself. The dark days are also becoming father and father apart.

So, 2019 has been a mediocre year and that’s better than bad. 2020 already feels like its going to be a great year. When I write a “Looking back on 2020” post it will be much more positive and I will have accomplished way more. So, stick around as I become who I was meant to be! (Start pestering me for that short story I need to edit or it may never come :P)

That’s my 2019 reviewed. How did your year fair? Did you smash all your goals? Have you set goals for this year? Let me know. Thanks for reading and Happy new year!

2 Comments on “Looking Back On 2019

  1. Nice to see that you are getting better every year. Keep up the good work.
    We all keep learning it’s when we don’t that is we’re the problems come .

    Like

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