For me 2019 was supposed to be the year my whole life changed. I set out goals and I was determined to turn everything around. It was the year I was going to get back to having a steady income, the year I learned to control my anxiety and depression and the year I accomplished all the writing projects I have been wanting to finish.
But 2019 looked a lot like 2018 in a sense. I believed I was happy and moving in the right direction. Early in the year my close friends Anxiety and Depression came to have a chat. I could no longer bring myself to go to work. I couldn’t find work. No scratch that, great jobs came knocking on my door but I couldn’t get myself to the opportunity. And I started beating myself up about it and that just made everything worse.
Unlike 2018 though, I managed to bounce back quicker and I believe stronger. I have set myself out new goals that if I work at them everyday I will be able to accomplish. I am feeling determined and ready to take on the year!
Unfortunately I didn’t manage to accomplish any of my goals in 2019 as some were just way over my head and others I didn’t give enough attention to. But the goal I wanted to complete the most was to finish the first draft of a novel. I have had some great Ideas (writers always do, til they go to write them down) But I just wasn’t in the right place to work on them. I have two works in progress right now and I am going to read through them and decide which one to give my attention to. Because I WILL be making some head way this year!
Falling back into old habits has definitely halted my creative progress. I come home from work and either watch tv or play video games until bed. doing that keeps my mind blank and if its blank I don’t think negativity and spiral out of control. But I have already found myself chipping away at the time I spent doing that and managing to work more on my blog or reading more and slowly but surely I will get to where I want to be.
There was one goal that I came really close to achieving and that was my reading goal. In 2018 I read 11 books ( don’t judge I have never been a huge reader) and I made a goal to read 20 in 2019. I managed to read 16 and that’s a huge feat for me! This year I am going to keep the goal the same and I will most likely smash it as I get more engrossed in books now and fly through them!
As much as this year has been a bummer, much like the last couple of years, it has been good. I am at a job that I can see myself at for a long time. The people I work with are all awesome. When I have “dark” days they brighten much quicker and I actually learn more about myself. The dark days are also becoming father and father apart.
So, 2019 has been a mediocre year and that’s better than bad. 2020 already feels like its going to be a great year. When I write a “Looking back on 2020” post it will be much more positive and I will have accomplished way more. So, stick around as I become who I was meant to be! (Start pestering me for that short story I need to edit or it may never come :P)
That’s my 2019 reviewed. How did your year fair? Did you smash all your goals? Have you set goals for this year? Let me know. Thanks for reading and Happy new year!